Don't (Quintis)
by Rue Bear
Summary: Set a while after 2x20 (that kiss though!)
1. Chapter 1

Don't (Toby and Happy fanfic)

 _Never written like this before and I've not been a part of the fandom all that long so i'm still making a breakdown of the characters for myself but for me there is a painful lack of Quintis fics so i thought I'd give one of my own creation a go. and can i just say that this is written out of love and how i see their relationship having observed the characters behaviours for myself and read other bloggers observations_ :) also dyslexic so punctuation and spelling is probably so very wrong. oh and **potential trigger maybe, panic attack of sorts?**

It had happened again,and then again after that. Happy used kissing Toby as a way to avoid using her words or to shut him up. her words had worked once up on the rooftop, but that was when she couldn't take it any more and with adrenaline fuelling her she opened up expressing her hurt and anger but after a minute pressed to his chest she suddenly felt rather embarrassed and awkward so threw up her defences once more. she didn't do vulnerability, not really. not even with Toby,who she felt far more for than she could find the words to admit. even to herself. she'd felt happier in those first few months with Toby than she sadly did right now, frustrations and her own issues were beginning to mess with the happy butterfly feelings she had when she was with him. In the privacy of their apartments Happy loved where his arm would gently snake around her waist and he would gently place a kiss on the back of her neck, just for a moment and then he'd move on and begin drying the dishes or go for a shower- the moments where it felt less 'created', where the actions felt natural and spontaneous rather than a forced, conscious decision to express his feelings upon her, his heavy use of pet names and need to compliment her were a little stifling and wholly unnecessary. That was not to say she didn't feel that soft flutter when a 'babe' or 'sweetheart' would effortlessly roll of his tongue having addressed her. These moments were enough, he wasn't trying to overcompensate or pacify, he was just being self-expression his care very nearly wordlessly. but then he'd lay his love on too thick again and it was beginning to suffocate her. The dull heavy feeling in her chest scared her and even Toby was beginning to feel it, that underling tension- elephant in the room- unspoken words, but he had finally got his wish and to admit that things weren't as flawless and easy as he had imagined was impossible and he batted them aside determined that it would pass because he loved her enough for the both of them. But even curled around her sleeping form he was finding it more difficult to sleep recently. as was she. finding the bravery as to bring the topic of something not feeling right in fear of hurting the other, was escaping them.

The last straw was up on the rooftop again when she had gone up there- to escape him and his cotton candy words, to sickly sweet to swallow. He- as she knew he eventually would- followed her. 5 minutes later he was wrapped around her and beginning to strangle her with words of adoration and when it finally got too much she turned in his arms and threw herself onto his lips, he responded instinctively. she manoeuvred him onto the table to obtain better access. securely sat on the table he returned her passion and grip, arms wrapped tightly round her back holding her as close to him as physically possible. it was when breathing was becoming ragged and the kiss had surpassed its natural end and she didn't pull away,she didn't stop. but he did. she carried on moving to his face,neck and chest. it felt wrong, this wasn't going somewhere. this wasn't being driven by lust and need. She had moved towards his lips again but he gently pushed her away and stood up.

"Don't"

she looked a little surprised and lost. that was not what she had been expecting.

she couldn't get a read on his expression, anger? sadness? hurt? disgust? these were not things she was used to seeing when his gaze was upon her. he just stood watching her, his breathing shallow.

"why is it that i feel like kissing me feels like a chore for you, like a mission to keep me quiet, a way of manipulating me. a kind of threat that if i don't keep to your specifications you'll drop me. you know that the way i feel about you means i'd never be the one to walk away. your my addiction. you are flawed but i'd take you and your flaws over perfection any day. it doesn't seem to work that way for you"

she was looking at the ground now, her chest tight and jaw locked, teeth grinding as to control her body's involuntary reactions to the truth in his words. she heard his footsteps as they approached her.

he stood a foot away. just standing once more. it was her move. she debated and wrestled with her head and heart but she wanted this. she wanted him. and in a moment before she had realized her decision, she had her head buried in his chest a sob escaping her and then another till she had completely fallen apart as his arms gently wrapped around her. she went slack in his arms and she felt them lowering to the ground. she was 15 the last time she had allowed this to happen, to cry to the point she didn't know which way was up and which way was down. she may have even blacked out a few times. she could hear him as he tried to calm her, get her to control her breathing.

he was terrified. when she gave that first sob against his chest he had not expected it to go this far. this was serious. borderline dangerous. even as a doctor he was debating between phoning an ambulance or Paige or hell even Walter, maybe her dad? what the hell was happening. the last time he saw anything like this it was a toddler who was screaming bloody murder and who's brain couldn't decide whether oxygen was more important than obtaining a reaction from the parent who was blatantly ignoring his behaviour… until emotion won and the kid blacked out which caused instant panic in the middle of the shop.

was she crying and having a panic attack at the same time? she wasn't responding to his words, just gripping onto his clothing for dear life and each time he tried to pry her hand off as to obtain a proper look at her just seemed to make it worse. hell he was phoning Paige it had gone on to long. gripping her tighter is hopes that might do something he pulled out his phone

"Paige?…get up here please…that's Happy, I need you up here now" he ended the call and noticed that her erratic breathing and sobs had lessened a little.

"well this is certainly different Happy, not going to lie never thought it would be you falling to pieces in my arms, Sylvester, yes. you? my tough cookie? no way."

His voice took on a softer, a sadder tone.

"well i suppose we all crumble at some point. its killing me not to have a clue as to how to fix you.."

Paige came bursting through the door, instantly running to Toby's side.

"what's going on?"

"hell if I know,we were having an argument of sorts and next thing i know she's catatonic"

bushing back her her hair, Paige tried to get a response

"Happy? Happy can you hear me? Happy can you look at me?"

she had a bit more control now, things felt rather fuzzy and she couldn't decide if her head felt heavy or light but it hurt either way. but she heard Paige and tried to do as she asked and look at her, it took a moment but she could see Paige, she was smiling gently at her and behind her swam the faces of Cabe and Walter tense and concerned.

"there we are, hi Happy, can you follow what I'm saying?"

she gave a soft nod and Happy felt Toby begin to relax around her.

"your breathing is still a little worrying, can you breathe with me?"

Paige softly took her hands placing one just under her ribs, on her diaphragm and the other on Happy's own. She felt Paige's stomach push out as she slowly pulled air into her lungs and shakily and slightly delayed Happy copied the action, eyes locked on one another as they began to match the exhale. she was beginning to feel the exhaustion and the chill in the evening air. her breathing was very nearly back to normal however the realization that everyone just witnessed her break down, the vulnerability made her feel rather nauseous. she had forgotten she was pretty much in Toby's lap so was surprised to hear his voice so close.

"do you feel well enough to get inside?, i'm rather aware that your shaking a bit"

she looked up into his face and found not pity or judgement but warmth and love. she felt those butterfly's again in her tummy and an odd lightness in her heart, as horrible and traumatic as the events that had just come to pass were, it felt it changed something in the relationship,he had seen her truly at her worst and yet there he was still looking at her like she hung the moon and held the stars in her eyes.

"yeah"

he helped her stand and looped an arm round her waist supporting her as she made her way back downstairs.

he said nothing the entire way back to her apartment, nor when she asked him to help her shower, she never felt so connected and close to him as when she laid her head against his chest as he gently washed her hair, her fingers mindlessly ghosting shapes across his chest. he helped her dry and dress and left her only to obtain a glass of water, wordlessly placing it on the bedside. she knew what he was saying, she had to replace the fluids lost when she was crying. she was beyond exhausted but she sat in bed. waiting for him. he came out of the bathroom having brushed his teeth and silently climbed into bed and turned off the light, she sat in the dark for a moment, nothing. he said nothing. then it happened, his fingers brushed against her back and she couldn't help but smile there in the dark. she slowly fell back against her pillow. both looking up at the ceiling feeling contentment in lying side by side and closer than ever.

"you know we are going to have to talk about what just happened,right?"

"yeah, but for tonight i just wanna be held"

"that,i can do"

she was never much into the spooning, close proximity sleeping thing, but with his hand resting on her hip and the soft movement of the pad of his thumb against her skin, it felt like that aversion could come to change. she felt his breathing beginning to even out but she heard his soft mutter into her hair.

"I love you"

pulling his hand further round to rest of her stomach and interlinking their fingers, had he not been now fast asleep he'd have heard her quiet whisper of

"I love you too"


	2. Chapter 2

When she awoke they were still in the very same position in which they fell asleep, in fact it seemed like Toby had some how come to be even closer, to the point where she could feel the rise and fall of his chest with each breath he took. It didn't freak her out though, him being so close, she felt loved and safe...but also the very strong need to pee. She gently peeled his hand off of her and carefully exited the bed. She returned to find the bed empty,so pulling on Toby's robe she made her way out of the bedroom and into his kitchen.

He was stood leaning against the counter eating a slice of toast patiently waiting for the coffee maker to produce their rocket fuel. This was a morning like so many others, but yet it felt like the very first time again for her. She hovered in the doorway, feeling a combination of embarrassment and awkwardness which seemed ridiculous by this point, but she couldn't help the need to pull his robe tighter around her.

He eventually noticed her standing in the doorway,

"good morning"

"Hey"

she yet made no move towards him or towards getting herself some breakfast... he puzzled by her hesitance,he waited to see if she was going to say something and was building up courage or something. Being patient remembering her fathers words of "Just let her do what she's gonna do" when she continued to just stand there he docided that it was down to him then.

He held a bowl up

"Cereal?"

"Yes, please"

her voice was softer, and "please" was a rare occurrence from her lips and was usually through gritted teeth.

Deciding to just go with it he opened the cupboard and reached up and pulled down her coco pops silently holding them out towards her, she slowly moved to take the box from her and waited for him to move away to let her fill her bowl. He couldn't help it.

"who are you and what have you done with my Un-Happy Quinn?"

She smiled softly.

He approached from behind, placing his hands on her hips and ducking his head to rest his head on her shoulder.

"you ok?"

she moved into his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around him. It took him a second too react but his arms came to her back rubbing gently. She just closed her eyes and basked in his warmth,eventually she moved away.

"Is this what proper happiness feels like?"

He was surprised by the question, he took a moment to respond.

"what do you mean sweetheart?"

gently tucking a curl behind her ear

"I don't know, inside my head feels quiet, My heart feels like it's beating slower and like, the world is moving slower? Does that make sense? I just suddenly feel like I'm not on the verge of exploding ?"

his lips turned up at the corners

"yes, and no. physiologically not really possible, but psychologically if you've broken through something that was building emotional pressure up that beautiful brain of yours or it is very possible what you are feeling is "happiness" I would like to think that would be my doing, maybe the blue fairy has finally granted that wish and you're now a real girl"

that earned him a thump to the chest only the smirk on her lips told him she was not offended.

"Jerk"

Then again, maybe the doctor should have a look at you. Just in case"

he began to tug at the bow keeping his robe firmly closed, however she slapped them away, hiding a smile.

"Nope, we are already running behind as it is and Walter will not be pleased if we are late"

she moved away from him grabbing her cereal and milk heading towards the bedroom to eat as she got ready for the day.

"Make yourself useful and shove some that coffee in my travel mug for me"

when they got to the garage,no one mentioned last nights 'incident' and no one but Paige approached her to ask how she was feeling, Happy suddenly found herself struck with the hurt that came upon her. Did they not care? Why does she care? The Happy of 48 hours ago wouldn't care,she'd be glad. But this new development within her had left her quite raw and was now at the mercy of her minds doubts and insecurities.

Toby came up behind her ducking his head to whisper in her ear

"give them time, they will approach you in their own time, you've been a bit of a scary lady in the past. They'll be assessing as to whether they would be risking bodily harm to come a' poking the bear"

she turned her head head slightly to mutter

" 'the bear?' Gee thanks"

"yes the bear, though personally I find your personality a bit more cat like so more like 'poke the panther' "

he wasn't quick enough to dodge the elbow in his stomach before she walked away

"that was a complement!"

she only turned around briefly as to stick out her tongue. However far enough away to not hear Toby's muttering whilst rubbing his bruised abdomen

"well they're right to be freaking cautious, even with newfound happiness your still prone to violence, crazy woman"

The case came in quickly, chatter of the planned killing of a movie star, Michael Wentworth who had recently been attacked for his campaigning and out spoken views of women had left him with a rather large target on his back, the team were less than happy to be having to save the ass of some misogynistic, rich dick who thought he could get away with his treatment of women. He was suspected of several rape and physical violence charges, but with the risk of careers being ruined and backlash from his supporters the women would often recount and refuse to continue to prosecution. Meaning each and every time, and thanks to a very well paid lawyer, the charges were dropped through lack of evidence and a prosecuting witness. So to try catch the instigator of the attack Happy was to go undercover as a best girl and Paige his assistant's covering 'assistant', truly the poor woman didn't need much convincing as to help the team so was more than happy to play sick as to have Paige step in as her replacement. All was well until Paige had her ass grabbed which had Walter furious, for obvious reasons, but it all went to hell when He caught Happy installing mics and cameras in his trailer, which resulted in a rather quick blow out. Happy escaped lightly with only a few Bruises and a cut lip but this only made Toby more sure of his next action.

With help from Walters hacking skills and Cabe's homeland connections, technical support from Sly and a little wardrobe help from Hetty, Walter and Toby entered Michael Wentworth's private home for his "Charity evening" which was really just an excuse for him and his friends to meet bringing dates as to whom they could ogle and leer over like pieces of meat in pretty dresses and abuse as they liked. Several times during the evening Walter and Toby had to bite their tongues and play the part of men who "agreed 100% women should not believe themselves to be above their status, and of course the disgrace of these feminatzi lunatics planting these ridiculous ideas that they are equal to men and should be treated thus and the idea that one could make any kind of rational decision that could affect the entire country, out of the question!" when the topic came to "if women is to flaunt her body then she most definitely should be blamed for any advances, they were after all hot blooded men they can't be expected to not be enraged to be turned down, women were lucky as to obtain male attention" Toby was beginning to draw blood with how hard he was biting his cheek so quickly excused himself before he compromised the entire mission. Toby left Walter, who seemed to be coping better with Wentworth's words of hate. Everything was set up Toby would corner him later obtain his confession of the assaults, at least that was the plan until he entered Wentworth's bedroom and was almost left with a bullet between the eyes, the first shot rang out and then suddenly there were hundreds others downstairs, Toby disarmed Wentworth's wife, not gracefully, there was a lot of fumbling but he ended up with the gun facing a shrieking Sophia Wentworth who believed it to be her husband walking through the door. Toby really hoped that Walter was OK and Cabe had this handled. picking up his ear piece from where it had fallen out.

"Look, I can't say I blame you but if you listen to me and help me go get my friends, we will help you and if he isn't already dead we will get confessions from him and you and all his other victims will get justice, but you will all have to be brave to do so"

so having found Walter and Cabe and addressed and convinced the ladies of whom were involved downstairs that if they cooperated they might get out of this...since no one was dead, yet. No the men were all just flat on the floor doing as they were out of fear of being shot, some had tried to mouth so there was some superficial injuries, bullets in limbs. Nothing deadly. There were also some, like Mr Worthington who had been knocked out. That made things easier.

So all three men and another few unconscious ones, with their mouths duck taped, were tied to chairs. Conspicuous camera set up and a voice recorder in Toby's pocket and with Cabe stood silently behind where they could see, you know to make this as legal as possible, Mrs Wentworth woke her husband with a glass of water to his face, he let out a yell of explicit words, insulting every ones mother and their cat before realising his words were getting him nowhere.

"What the hell do you think you are doing, you are not getting away with this, I will put every one of you bitches away for life!"

"you can try dear"

"Sophia you spineless cow, you expect me to believe you organised this, this is beyond your intelligence you stupid slut"

"believe it or not if you like, I'm not the one tied up to a chair"

he continued to try escape the bonds that bound him to the chair, by Cabe but he wasn't to know that.

" well we are getting bored so if you don't mind we'll be off we have quite a mess to clear up"

"Cleaning, that's all your good for!, you can't just...let me out...untie me you ugly..."

and with that they were alone.

The word from Sly that everything was in order they began.

"what the hell did you do Wentworth, why are we down here?"

"who were all those women?"

it appeared that once you got Michael Wentworth talking he didn't really want to stop, within an hour they had all they needed to put him away and they were done. Cabe piped up when the authorities were ready to take him and his guilty friends away, along with the ladies but didn't seem to mind all that much when they were assured that Wentworth was most definitely going away for a long time, he even confessed to fraud so that was just the cherry on top for them. Cabe released them from their chairs much to the horror and fury of Wentworth. When they got outside they realised just how late it was.

"oh god, do the ladies know?"

Cabe laughed

"No, I don't believe so"

"I told Happy I had a meeting, you know for the gambling.. I think I might have been gone a little longer than the usual meeting lasts"

"have you actually thought about going to one?"

"yes, well I know of some but I guess going means admitting its an actual problem"

Walter couldn't help but say it

" It is an actual problem Toby, can't believe its taken Happy to get you to actually quit and what the hell happens if this thing between you ends, do you go right back to it as she won't be there as a reason not to"

" not a chance, of either."

"ok boys can we get home and take this up another time, I have work tomorrow"

"how about a late start, you know I think we deserve a lie in"

Cabe gave another Laugh

"Well if the world isn't ending, I suppose we could have a day off."

"Really? Cabe, I could kiss you"

"that's ok, save it for Happy. I'll drop you off on the way"

"What about the suit?"

"just don't get anything on it and I'll return them on Monday"

Happy was asleep on the couch when there was a knock on the door, looking at the time she had no clue who it could be, and where was Toby she had a tight knot in her stomach at the fact he wasn't back yet.

But there he was leaned against the doorway, with his best smoulder on, decked out in a very fancy suit and bow-tie, fixing his cufflinks. He looked up and in his terrible english accent said

"The name's Tobias. M. Curtis M.D. licensed, to save lives and read minds"

"what the hell"

he stepped over the threshold and closing the door behind him, ignoring Happy's shocked and suspicious expression

"oh miss Honey Pie, fancy seeing you in such a place like this"

"Toby...?"

Pulling her into his arms and planting a hard, passionate kiss upon her.

"you look as ravishing as ever"

she raised an eyebrow at him a hint of a smirk creeping upon her face.

"really? In an old Harvard t-shirt that belongs to some dumbass I know"

"well I think it looks lovely on you...through I think it would suit the floor much better"

Swinging her up into his arms, obtaining a shocked squeak from Happy, carrying her to the couch.

"oh geez, Toby your such a freaking dork."

having laid her on the couch and leaning down, finding a place to put his knees as to hover over her and not squash her, and kissing her softly.

"Hmmmm,somehow I don't think you would have me any other way", she smiles up at him at him.

"no, I wouldn't"

he gives a gentle laugh and kisses her hard, pushing her down further onto the couch cushions placing kisses along her jaw and down her neck, he snakes a hand down her side to reach the bottom of the t-shirt covering her, she stops his hand and sits up. worried he has crossed a line or mistaken her signals Toby begins to quickly move off of her, but before he gets to far Happy gently grips his face making him look up to meet her eyes.

"I mean it Toby, I wouldn't have you any other way, you are stupid and silly but somehow you love me,and I know I'm asking you to give up things which have been a part of your life for so long that they are now a part of you, but you must know that its driven by how I feel about you, by how much I..care, for you...how much I.."

he can tell she is beginning to struggle for the words.

He takes her hands in his, placing them on top of his knees.

"I know. I know and yes the gambling has become a part of me, but it doesn't define me, at least I don't want it to. And for you, for our future I would give up so much more. because having you, loving you and having you 'care' for me is worth so much more than any amount I could ever win with the betting. The rush, the adrenaline...I can obtain from being around you, you electrify me Happy..and I can show you and put it to far better use if you would let me take that stupid shirt off of you."

she grins at him,

"I try to open up and all you can focus on is sex, how ironic"

"hey someone once said actions speak louder than words...that's if they can be heard over your moans" he had dived out of the way before her hit could land. Grinning and pulling off his rather squint bow tie he started backing his way into the bedroom, Happy sat there on the sofa wondering if he was coming back or she was to follow, but the thought was broken by his terrible English accent.

"Come Miss Honey Pie, I think you deserved to be left shaking"

pursing her lips trying to keep from smiling and shaking her head she thought,if any other man had said such words to her she'd have been out the door like a bullet, but being it wasn't just any other man, and it was Toby, she stood up from the couch and not even attempting to suppress her smile any more. began walking towards his room,whilst pulling off the t-shirt.

"for putting up with your kind of crazy, I should bloody think so"

 **ooooh so this became a little smuttier than I first thought... oh and I do hope it is rather obvious that I don't own scorpion, would love to be a part of it, but own it I do not.**


	3. Chapter 3

She lay content in his arms, heart still pounding. Last night was good, but this morning...10 uninterrupted hours of sleep had really given him some energy. She had never been left feeling like this by any previous boyfriends. A few had been rather self absorbed and Intimacy felt very one sided. As long as they got what they wanted from it, that was all that mattered.

But with Toby, he cared. He made sure that she was comfortable and she enjoyed herself too. He would ask her through out if she was ok and didn't assume to know her body better than she did, he was eagerly learning about what she needed and enjoyed- as was she.

This felt like her first adult relationship, with communication and honesty. And it felt right. With her other boyfriends she could see the end, predict when the relationship would have run its course. But she couldn't with Toby, maybe that's because he saw and treated the relationship like it was endless. Like she was it for him, till the end of time and no matter how she had pushed him away and discouraged him he didn't give up. He kept fighting for this. For her. For soft warm flesh, beating hearts and elation. He saw her potential for happiness and love when she couldn't and he waited till she felt brave enough to try. She didn't see the end so maybe there would never be one. Maybe this was it. Maybe she had found someone who would enjoy good days and endure the bad ones because having her in his life, the good times were worth it. And it was becoming clear very fast that what he had said on the rooftop was right. He wouldn't be the one to walk away when things got hard because she saw it, he wasn't scared of messing up, he was scared of her giving up and throwing the towel in. it was easier to focus on his faults as that helped keep him at a distance, and her from being hurt. But she didn't want that any more. So there, in that moment, in that bed with her heart pounding, she made the decision. She wasn't going to let herself sabotage this.

She was thinking, he could practically hear the cogs going round in her head. He wanted to ask, but if she wanted to let him in on her thoughts,she would. He could do this for the rest of his life. He had thought about it quite a lot, a life with Happy. He had waited so long, he wanted it all. Wedding, honeymoon, babies,pre-school,minivan vacations, parent meetings, homework,groundings. All with Happy. He would have been content in his marriage with his ex, but he felt it would have been a mediocre life. He'd have been happy with her, but maybe not as excited to wake up each morning as he was with Happy, She left him breathless every day,with the simplest of things. How he had restrained himself for so long he doesn't know, probably fear of injury. But the past doesn't matter any more. She was his future whether she realised it or not. He thought about how best to approach such a topic as marriage. Was it even something she wanted?

"How about we go for a walk later?"

"hmmm?"

she looked up towards him and he smiled down at her

"sorry I was thinking"

"I said, would you like to go for a walk later?"

"a walk?"

"yeah, a walk. It just seems that with our crazy life, time spent with you is usually at work or here. I want to do something normal and couple-ly with you"

she smiled, he was right. There wasn't many times in which they got to spend time together in a normal people way.

"sure I would love too"

They eventually got up and headed out, deciding that they would go get lunch and walk the park that lay a little outside of the city. They didn't speak much, just enjoyed one another's company dotted with forehead kisses and arms round waists. They sat at a little bench and when Toby went to get them ice cream Happy spotted a couple having pictures taken. Wedding pictures. It struck something within her. She would sometimes see the couples exit the church opposite the group home when she was really little. the smiles,cheering and confetti raining down on two people who had promised themselves to one another in front of god. She thought it was magical, she was young enough to believe that was an option for her, a forlorn dream. When she was 14 she stayed with a couple who owned a wedding dress shop. Life had taught her to be cynical, the charm weddings once held was long gone. She didn't like going down into the shop, all those hopeful, perky brides to be. All thinking that a stunning dress and a beautifully expensive wedding, that it would be the beginning of their happy ever after. but for most would ultimately end up in resentment and a messy divorce.

But there was once, she was downstairs watching the shop whilst her foster mother went out for an hour, she was sorting out some of the dresses in the back.

It was rather plain and simple, elegant. It wasn't like what the ladies who usually came in wanted, they all wanted big princess dresses with puffy sleeves and too many ruffles. when the shop was closed and her foster mother was distracted, she went went back down and found the dress once more, just to admire it. She held it up against herself in the mirror,just to see. But then she heard the soft voice of the foster mother

"would you like to try it on"

she had spun round, furious at herself at getting caught being childish and sentimental. She instantly put up her defences. She chucked the dress at the foster mother and tried to push past her. She caught her arm

"Happy, there is no shame in desiring happiness and wanting love, you just hide it behind those walls of yours. Honey, I think one day you are going to be looking for a dress of your own. Come on"

Happy was too embarrassed as to kick up a fuss so she followed her to a changing room.

"Come on"

she stood in her underwear, trusting her foster mother but still feeling rather vulnerable.

"Close your eyes"

she thought about objecting but closed them anyway. She felt the coolness of the of the fabric as it slid over her small frame. Her foster mother pinned it as to get the shape right and chastised her when she attempted to open her eyes. She was guided out into the shop and in front of where she knew the large mirror stood.

"open your eyes"

Happy had never considered herself to be beautiful, but the way her hair contrasted the white fabric and the way her skin appeared to glow. in that moment, she really did feel beautiful. It wasn't a great fit as she was a little lacking in a woman's chest and hips but she could see it. See the potential.

"i think you've found your dress anyway"

Happy turned to the woman,who was beaming. 6 months the girl had been with them and she feared she would never see her eyes light up as they did stood in that dress.

"no. no way, its cute, but its just silly. I'm never going to be wearing one, let alone this"

"we shall see"

"Hey, you ok?"

"Hmmm? Oh hey, yeah i'm fine. Just thinking."

"you seem to be doing quite a bit of that today, would you like to share?"

"no, its nothing important. Just thoughts"

"sweetheart I would listen to 'just thoughts' all day so long as they were yours"

He handed her the ice cream and sat down beside her.

Mint chocolate with raspberry sauce and gummy worms. it was odd but she got the option of having whatever she wanted when she was 5 and having never had the chance before, she chose those three things. Other kids thought it was weird but it always reminded her that someone had given her an option,she had,had the opportunity to choose.

"you remembered"

"of course"

"i'd have just been happy with plain mint chocolate"

"I know, but I wanted to get you what it is you really wanted"

she was suddenly kissing him. hard. Breaking away she leaned her forehead against his slightly breathless.

"i love you"

he sat slightly stunned.

"it's only ice cream"

a little embarrassed she sat back onto her seat.

"i know, but thanks"

they sat in silence for a moment eating their ice cream, neither one looking at the other. He suddenly turned to her.

"so you love me. You don't just like me"

he leaned in close to her, whispering

"you, Love Me"

turning her head to look him in the eyes, a big smile on her face and a sparkle in her eyes

"yeah, I do, I really do"

he closed the very small gap to kiss her gently. He'd waited so long to hear the words, it was so worth it.


	4. Chapter 4

They sat on the grass under the shade of a large tree in silence. Toby leaning against the trunk with Happy sitting between his legs, her head resting under his chin. His hand wrapped around her middle the other mindlessly playing with the ends of her hair

"You think we should be heading home?,i kinda wanna curl up on the couch with the woman who loves me and watch a movie"

she was quiet.

"Happy,you awake?"

the silence continued.

He shifted to see her face, the movement broke Happy from her trance

"Hmmm, what? Sorry?"

"Happy you seem really distracted by whatever it is you are thinking, are you really ok?"

she was quiet for a minute before she shifted round to be able to look him in the eyes.

"You said I should think on that theoretical marriage of ours. were you serious? Is that where you are at with this?, if I was there too, If you were sure I wanted it. would you ask me?"

he took a pause

"yes, I guess, on all accounts..."

she considered it for a minute.

"Right. Good. OK." she was rather revealed. She turned back to her original position.

Toby however was rather blind sided. What does that mean? Is that permission to ask? Is she expecting it now? He had gotten Sly to calculate her ring size and he had ordered the ring. He still had no clue as to when he would get to put it on her finger, but he wanted to be prepared . Which if he understood what she was saying,would be sooner rather than later. holy crap.

She was ok with this. Yes, yes she was. She loved him. Never in her life had she loved someone so much as she loved him. And he loved her, for all she had done and for all she was, he wanted her and only her.

But then it struck her. 'First comes love then comes marriage...then comes baby in the baby carriage' would Toby want a family, does she want a family? It had been nice having Ralph around but to be a parent? To start with a screaming baby? With a pregnancy...that she might not survive? no. no she couldn't do that. Not to Toby. Not to the kid. Se best not to go down that road. No.

Toby awkwardly coughed. "erm,yeah..you ready to go home?"

"mmhmm"

they got up and there was an awkward moment of whether they were going to hold hands or not.

They got back to the apartment and it was quiet. Awkward.

They returned to work the next day and both desperate to talk this through with someone, even if it couldn't be the other party involved. But decided against it. This was between them.

A little while later she saw movement in her peripheral vision

"Happy?"

Sylvester was hovering near her bench

"i was wondering if you could help me with something, its not big, or important really but..erm.."

"what do you need Sly"

"erm I was wondering if you could come to the hospital and fix some of the things in the pediatric wing in the hospital?"

"don't they have people for that?"

"well it's not that the things are broken, just not working to the capabilities that I believe your work can have them running at and therefore providing better care."

"...you also don't like going back alone but being there brings you comfort because of what it meant to you and Megan"

he opened his mouth to deny it but couldn't, she smiled.

"i'm In love with a psychiatrist . I've picked up a few things"

picking up her things she lead them out of the garage calling out a simple

"be back in a bit guys"

when they got to the hospital she saw Sylvester visibly relax, his tension and fears melting away the moment he reached the glass in which behind 15 babies lay peacefully in their cots. A nurse behind the glass looked up and having spotted them beckoned them in, a smile on her face.

"Sylvester! Hi how are you?"

"i'm good Claire, thanks"

she looked to Happy

"and who is this?"

"this is my friend Happy, you remember I told you what it is she can do?"

"yeah! O'my gosh thank you so much, George is great but whatever it is he does, never lasts very long, which is really not what we need when we are so limited in resources. You really think you can fix these?"

she looked at the incubators and medical devices that Claire pointed to, which did look a little daunting, these things weren't really her forte. But for Sly and Megan she'd figure it out.

Half an hour of research and opening one up Happy knew what was required. She looked up from behind the incubator she was currently fixing and saw Sly and Claire in a corner conversing quietly, gazing down into the crook of Sly's elbow. Happy stopped to watch. If she listened carefully she could hear the faint squeak and snuffle of the small baby. She also looked at Sly and Claire's body language. Yeah. There was something there between them even if they were not aware. Being closer to Toby was definitely having an impact on her,she never would have noticed these things before it.

After 2 hours of work all the equipment was fixed and working better than ever. She had worked silently and more peacefully than she ever had previously. She didn't want to stir the babies around her and she even caught herself before the utterance of a few choice words. There was a quiet fuss from the cot closest to her. She looked down into the face of the baby, he quietened. He began cooing, smiling and waving his limbs a bit when he saw Happy watching him. Claire came up behind her a gentle hand on her back.

"would you like a hold? He has been here a while. He was very sick,but he is a fighter and will get to go home soon. Sly has grown rather attached to him, he would come in- we have volunteers who come in and hold them for a while, its a comfort- and have a nap in the corner, with Joseph on his chest. just as he is doing with little Poppy over there, she's not sick, just irresistible."

Happy looked up and sure enough there was Sly dozing with a small baby softly sleeping on his shoulder wrapped in a blanket a protective hand holding her to him.

"I don't do babies, to loud, to messy, to fragile."

"is that why you are unable to look away. Go on, have a hold"

Claire took the steadying deep breath from Happy as conformation and gently lifted the baby from the cot, He gave a quiet wail before he was placed upon a startled Happy's chest. She had expected to hold him like they do in the movies, like Sylvester did earlier- in the crook of her arm but to have to baby so close. To be able to feel each breath he took, to have his arm wrapped around her neck his fist closed around the tendrils of hair that had fallen from her ponytail. He began to fuss a little and without being told Happy instinctively began to bounce softly, rubbing his back and he began to quieten, they stayed another hour and Happy got to feed him and began to panic a little when he got hiccups but was reassured that it was OK and would eventually pass. It was when Paige phoned to ask where they were she realized how late it had gotten and they should probably leave. She was a little sad to be going and didn't really want to put little Joseph down.

Happy dropped Sylvester off home and returned to the garage to pick up Toby.

He jumped into the cab of her truck.

"Hello stranger"

"hey"

"oh someone's smiley, am I gonna get to know why?"

"i just had a really good time with Sly"

"what you get up to? Should I be jealous"

she laughed "no, no need to get jealous. He just introduced me to a couple of his friends"

" "a couple of his friends?" how cryptic, I am definitely jealous"

her grin widened "i think you'd have liked them too"

"if they make you smile this much, I'm sure I would"

they sat in silence the rest of the way to Toby's flat.

They entered the flat quietly, hat,coat and shoes quickly shed

"wanna watch a movie?

"sure"

"So what movie do you want to watch?"

"whatever, you choose"

"but I asked you"

"and i'm saying I don't mind, i'm going to make the casserole anyway"

"do you want any help?"

Happy laughed. "thank you for the offer Doc but I think I can handle it"

he pouted, "but I haven't seen you all day"

she stepped into his arms looking up at him and whispered "we have all night"

lowering his face towards her and arms around her waist, he lowered his tone

"well maybe whilst you are handling dinner, I can handle you.."

their lips were an inch apart when Happy draws back with a "not a chance Doc"

she stepped away from him and sauntered off to the kitchen.

Sighing in defeat and a muttering of "bloody tease" he made his way to the couch as to set up the movie.

they had watched half of Mad Max when Happy jumped up as to retrieve their dinner from the oven.

Happy would have been pointing out the inaccuracies and taking apart the implausibilities of the action. This time she had said nothing and seemed still quite distant.

Happy arrived back with the food and went back for the drinks. He had set them down on the coffee table in front of them, she sat down and was about to pick up her palate.

"wait. I can't do this any more"

Happy blinked a few times.

"i'm sorry, what?"

"I don't want to go a moment longer before we talk. You asked me a question and your response confused me."

"ok..."

"the marriage thing, have you actually thought about it?"

"yes"

"and you are ok with it?"

"yes"

"do you feel ready for it right now?"

"as in right now?"

"no, but like if I asked you next week, you wouldn't freak or shut down?"

"i don't think so...are you going to ask me next week"

"i don't know, maybe, if I knew I wouldn't be telling you anyway"

"good"

"good?"

"yeah"

"you want it to be a surprise"

"yes, i'm not that far from being a normal woman who dreams of being suddenly proposed to by the man she loves"

"...but we are discussing it right now?"

"not really, but you better make it good. it had better not be at a vastly inappropriate time, Like those 'we are going to die, therefore I will tell you how I feel" speeches your so fond of and if it's on your freaking deathbed, i'll kill you"

"i'll keep that in mind"

"ok..."

she began to reach for her food again but she needed to know and span back round to look at him.

"ok so say we were married. What then?"

He was surprised by her question. And very confused by it.

"as in?"

"as in what's the next step for you, what would you want for us?"

"errrrm...to live happily ever after?"

if she was trying to get at what he had a suspicion she was trying to get at, He was not going to be the one to say it and make her feel she was backed into a corner.

With a frustrated mutter of "for goodness sake" she asked the question that scared the crap out of her

"do you want kids?"

she held her breath. Scared he might say yes. Terrified he would say no. or maybe it was the other way about. She really didn't know.

He visibly paled.

"i..er..well...and..it's just.." he took the safest option "do you?"

"yes..maybe. I don't know"

"first answers the honest one"

she gave him the look that told him dangerously "don't shrink me"

"what I mean is..i kinda want it too"

"so you do want kids"

he scooted closer to her and took her hands and looked her in the eyes.

"the prospect terrifies me. But I want it, I can see it. But it's not for me to decide. it's your sacrifice and I respect that so much. I respect your fear, hell I share the same one. i can understand where your dad was coming from in having given you up, I wouldn't want to do this without you- I would, I would have so many more people around to help and support than your dad did. But risking that...? asking you to give up your mind, body, to at times feel like you have lost your identity? for 2 and a half years ? It is not something I will ask of you. it is your choice. I'm under no illusion to the effects of a baby on a woman, nine months of development,delivery, then 3 months at least of pure dependency on you, then another 9 where dependency is still a good 75% on you. I can change, feed, comfort to the best of my ability but at the end of the day the kid won't really be a separate entity from you until it can walk. And that is a lot to ask of anybody. so if kids are in our future great. If not then it doesn't matter so long as I have you"

she looked towards her lap, suddenly conscious as to how true his words were.

"I still don't know how I feel about it. I mean I've been against it for so long because of my mom and my upbringing and that I never thought I'd meet someone who would make me re-evaluate such a thing... but I was in the hospital today and I felt something. I wanted to be on the other side of the glass looking in, I wanted to feel the way those parents did, looking in and being so proud, that they had created this little life that had now become the center of their universe. I think we could do it...but we live a life that is so dangerous and the prospect of the kid losing one of us..and I'm not really made to be a housewife, it's not in my nature."

"Hey, if we decide to do it, we will consider all these things, right now its hypothetical. Let me put a ring on that finger before we start getting ahead of ourselves. And I think you might surprise yourself, its astounding the changes a baby can instill within a person, and I'm not against being a house husband for those first few years till he or she began school and we'd handle it like Paige does. But who knows, I might love being dad so much I walk away and return to practice, the money wouldn't be so good but I'd be there to pick them up at the end of the day."

"You have really thought about this haven't you?"

"No, well a little bit" he said a little sheepishly

she pulled him close and planted a gentle kiss upon his lips

"i'm glad, I had a fear you would run a mile...or want to get right on it"

he gave a throaty chuckle "not when it comes to something as special as a baby" he began planting whisper kisses along her jaw. "a little person that is a part of you, how could I not want as many of you in my life as possible"

"they would share a part of you too you know"

"hmm lets hope your genes are the dominant ones"

"i would disagree, but more than one of you running about might drive me crazy"

he kissed her.

"I love you so much, and maybe we should eat before it gets any colder. your gonna need the energy"

she grinned as she slapped his leg,his ribs deserved a break from her violence.

"Shut it and eat your greens"


	5. Chapter 5

He had been trying to approach the subject from the moment they had gotten up, the memory had been weighing on him the whole night. 2 weeks had passed but he couldn't forget the look in her eyes when he had exposed something in Happy that was Painful and raw that she fell apart in his arms.

"Happy I've been trying to give you your space with it but...we still haven't spoken about the incident on the roof."

"Can't we just forget it"

"I know that it may be what you want,but I can't, I need to know what sparked such a reaction in you. I want to work through it with you."

"Does it have to be now?"

"No, but I need to know that I want to talk about it."

"That's great, but right now I'm trying to not get shot."

" ... Are you ok?"

"Doc!"

"Ok sorry! I'll let you focus"

"thank you!"

He was glad that he had gotten to hold her as she fell apart, she had previously, slowly been revealing little snippets as to the events of her traumatic childhood. She was often reliving moments as she told them and some nights where she couldn't sleep she would feel safe enough to express the thoughts that had been plaguing her, but she hadn't been open to divulging so much lately due to a previous reaction from Toby, he had realised it the moment he saw the look in her eyes as he lost his cool,he had let his control slip and reacted, not as a trained professional, but as a man who was angered and frustrated by the cruelty and neglect his girlfriend had had to suffer, which had in turn made her hesitant to be so honest again. She didn't want such things plaguing him too, he had his own damage to contend with. Maybe she had become so used to having him as a sounding board that when she had rebuilt her walls the pressure had become too much to handle alone once more.

So it surprised them both when she had mindlessly said one evening as they lay curled up the night previously. Happy had been dozing on his chest, as he stroked a gentle hand through her hair while also reading one of his many books, that the last time she had cried and fallen apart so violently when she was 15. his hand had frozen and was at a sudden loss as to how he should handle this sudden acquisition of information. She was opening up again and he had been so scared that once she had stopped opening up,she never would again.

He badly wanted to know what had happened then, just as much as what had happened 2 weeks previously up on that roof. The idea of Happy Quinn so vulnerable, alone in that state was horrifying to him. He never wanted to see her so hurt again. He felt guilty and responsible for the incident on the rooftop- for what he said, it was the truth but it was expelled in anger and frustration which as he as a psychiatrist knew was a recipe for disaster. But she had said no more on it and continued to doze. She had a thing for dropping bombs on him.

Both Walter,Paige and Happy were trapped behind a large warehouse having just handed off a large shipment of people to Cabe who had been working undercover and feeding information back to the team, they had manipulated the electronic communication's between the group so what was supposed to be a pick up, had Cabe driving off with a rather large shipment, only Paige was supposed to be with him however had been mistaken for shipment and Walter and Happy had to make a slight adjustment to the plan of rescuing those who were being kept at the warehouse, to include rescuing Paige from the hands of a gentleman who's plans for Paige were sure to be less than holy. Thus they were rumbled and now had a a group of human traffickers with guns out for blood. Their blood.

Toby's blood ran ice cold when that what heard was Walters cry of "stop" and a series of gunshots before the line cut and there was no response.

His heart was pounding, the rushing in his ears drowned out Slyvester's every word. Was the room spinning? He couldn't speak, his jaw had locked. His limbs felt to heavy, his head felt like it could off his shoulders, if he moved it so much as an inch.

His eyes found it hard to focus of the face in front of him. Dark hair. Darker eyes. Small hands waved in front of his face. He needed them to stop, with more precision than he expected from his clumbsy, heavy hands he pulled them to his lap. He was sitting. She was sitting.

It was barely a whisper and cracked and sounded like he had swallowed sandpaper.

"dear god, I thought you were dead. for sure. There was nothing. No sound. No phone call."

"actually dummy, there was. Cabe got us. He turned the lorry around when he head what had happened. You freaked and took your com out you idiot. He brought back up. Worst injury sustained is Paige, she hit the guy so hard she has broken her wrist. Other than that its cuts and bruises."

"I thought because I distracted you, they had gained the upper hand."

"not a chance. We are scorpion. Scorpion never loses"

"one day our luck will run out"

"shut up doc, we are going home. To talk"

"no, we are going home, ordering pizza. Going for a bath and i'm spooning you tonight. Talking is for tomorrow"

she gave a soft laugh.

"well, ok then"

she began to stand but he pulled her down onto himself, squeezing her tight.

"Just give me a minute"


	6. Chapter 6

He had her permission,yet he was nervous. This would be no surprise, but that was right for them, they never had been one to follow the rules. He tried to be sneaky about it, the 'accidental' spilling beer onto her hand as to obtain her ring size, she knew his game and as she stood up and moved to the table laid with food she couldn't help the small smile that fluttered to the corner of her lips, and the sharp pick up in the pace of her heart. She wanted to enjoy it like any other young woman, so distracted herself by running through her head the taking apart and modifying of the latest Ferrari model featured in 'Car and driver', working her way through, improving the design. She didn't know what his plan for the proposal or when or where. She had to stop herself. Just focus on the Ferrari.

She was startled by the sudden appearance of Ralph at her side.

"your smiling. Why are you smiling? You rarely smile"

"No reason. I'm just happy."

Ralph gave her a raised eyebrow, smirk and knowing look, his eyes never leaving her face. making it evident the meaning behind his works.

"yes, you are."

he placed some more food on his plate before looking back to her and giving her a toothy grin as he headed back to his table.

She wasn't going to let him have the last word, he may interpret that to be some sort of agreement of his observation.

"I think it would be wise for you to be spending less time with Toby" she quickly said before he got too far.

"Jealous are we?" he threw back over his shoulder

she could hardly believe it. The little man had sassed her, she never would have thought him capable of it. Least of all to her.

She had forgotten to wipe the smile off her face before returning to Toby, he couldn't help but notice when he looked up from picking off the label of his beer.

"what has you smiling"

she couldn't help the breath of laughter that escaped her as she remembered the conversation that had just transpired.

"I was just sassed by the 10 year old."

Toby's eyebrows shot up

"What? Where did he get the cojones to do that?"

she threw a chip at him

"i'm not that scary"

"yes you are! Hell you scare me and your half my size"

that stung a little. She wasn't scary,she didn't want to always be seen as scary. She was just guarded and to be labelled so by someone as close to her as ?Toby was, it bothered her. Did he really see her as scary? Did he hold back with her, in fear of her reaction? Did he feel as he could be as carefree with her as he did with Amy?

she threw another chip at him with more force and avoided his gaze, instead focusing on removing the label of her own beer.

The energy between them had changed. Toby felt it and he quickly ran back though the conversation as to try determine why the sudden shift in her mood.

"do I really scare you?" she couldn't help the insecurity that wavered in her voice.

Toby scooted his chair as close as he could to hers, taking the bottle from between her hands and placing it on the table, replacing it with his own hands patiently waiting for her to look at him.

"yes, because I love you and I don't want to mess up, But i'm also scared for you a lot of the time. Every time you do something even remotely dangerous, because you are unstoppable and too angry at times for your own good, and that makes you a little impulsive sometimes, it has me with my heart in my throat. But I also know that to fight you, I'd be as well admit defeat before the first swing. Not even Andrew Bynum

would stand a chance, Your so bad ass it's terrifying, but also sexy as hell"

She couldn't stifle the laugh she gave and shook her head softly.

"do you even know who Andrew Bynum is?"

" he is a giant"

she didn't even try to control the laughter.

" no dummy,he's one of the Lakers, a basketball team, the Giants play football and are from New York

Smiling he leaned in close.

"I know, I was making reference to his size, and since when did you start keep tabs on sports"

the twinkle in his eyes made the truth indistinguishable, he may have been humouring her, but being a betting man she couldn't be sure as just to how many sports he had once had been placing his bets on. The horses were one thing, but how far his reach extended she may never know.

" I work in mechanics, men of such industry seem to like such things as basketball and football. I can even tell you a bit about baseball too"

"I'm sorry, but I think you some how have become even hotter. How did I get so lucky."

"hmm, you are very lucky, for so very many reasons"

they were quiet, just taking in the action around them, she caught Ralph's eye and he gave her that knowing smile again, her lips twitched at the corners in return.

"how long do you think we have to stay?"

"Toby you gutterball!"

"what! I'm only flesh and blood. I am tired, we saved the world. Again. I think I deserve some R&R"

she gave him scathing laugh before standing up and returning with another beer for him.

"i think we have to at least stay to have another beer, and a soda in my case." he slid the beer towards her and the soda towards himself.

"You have it, I'll drive us home. Also can the effect of alcohol on a man's ability to.."

"ok! ok. You drive, I'll drink."

"yes ma'am" giving her a side glance as he raised the soda to his smirking lips.


	7. Chapter 7

She had been stuck with everyone all day, trying to fix the satellites of which were 22,369 miles away from on earth. in orbit. It had been a day of unvented frustration for her, unable to get her literal hands on the issue and device in question and having to rely on the hands and skills of others whilst also dealing with the limited resources, equipment and tools necessary. the situation had her growling and clenching her fists on several occasions. Trying to relay the instructions on fixing a highly sensitive devise from the ground whilst attempting to stay friendly was difficult. All she could see of their handy work was grainy video footage despite Sly and Walter's best efforts which made things 10x harder for her. And of course to top things off there was no Toby, and no Cabe.

They were presenting the results and benefits of having such a team as theirs and the ideals of creating other such teams for other divisions and in other country's. listing all the beneficial skill sets that could prove useful and the necessary criteria for such a job as saving the world and why it was useful for them to have both Cabe and Paige's skill sets also,yada, yada, yada. She knew Toby would be in his element but honestly she kind of needed Toby right now. Paige was trying her best but, this wasn't a communication issue. This was a 'they are not doing it fast enough', and 'that was obvious if you knew really what you were doing!' and 'I could have done this in half the time if I were working on it myself' issue.

By the time they had saved the world, AKA the satellites from malfunctioning and/ or exploding and sending material hurtling towards the earth, She now he wanted to kill somebody. She drove in silence, daring anyone to say a thing with a stony face and firey eyes. Paige sat quietly talking into the phone at the back of the car, probably talking to Ralph. Sly listened to his music and Walter watched Paige from the corner of his eye

When they arrived back at the Garage Toby's car was still parked, she was warmed a little by the knowledge that he had waited for her. Everyone piled out of the SUV and headed inside. Paige approached her as if to say something but Happy held up a hand and spoke before she could.

"Paige whatever you are going to say, please don't, OK? I'm just going to take a beat before I head inside, I just, I just need to breathe a bit first."

she expected Paige to look a little hurt by her words, instead she looked pleased. Was she less harsh than she felt her words had been? Was she now used to Happy's bluntness? Either way she was pleased that Paige had just bobbed her head a bit in conformation and made her way inside.

Happy placed her hands against the hood of the car and took a few deep breaths thinking of sitting curled up, content and clam in Toby's arms. She felt her heart rate begin to slow. She thought of the day sat under the trees in the park and the gentle graze of Toby's fingertips against her arm as they dozed. She felt the tension in her muscles begin to subside, and with one last large exhale she felt collected enough as to face everyone once more.

The place was in darkness, well as much in darkness as the setting sun that washed the place in an warm glow allowed. And yet no one was around.

Had they left? No, their cars were outside and they would have passed her. It then occurred to her, Paige and her obsession with collecting them all up on the roof for some sort of reaffirming family bonding barbecue.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, half an hour, she could do half an hour..maybe an hour but then she would have to give Toby that look that said "please lets get out of here"

she slowly made her ways up the steps. She opened the door and as she entered out into the space they all looked round and smiled.

Paige smiled the brightest.

"there she is"

something was off, the roof looked the same. But different. the string of lights shone brighter, the place had been swept and tidied. She eyed them all up suspiciously as she moved further into the space,scanning their expressions. she suddenly came across a set of eyes, in the face of a man she had not been expecting to see. Her dad's. They shone with something, something unfamiliar. All of their eyes did.

She furrowed her brow confused, their eyes all shifted to watch something behind her.

She turned slowly and there stood Toby. In a suit and completely hat-less. Her eyes zeroed in on the slight bobbing of his Adams apple and the state of his tie that had obviously been loosened and fidgeted with and the top button of his shirt had been undone. He was nervous, damn near fearful.

He took a steadying breath and cleared his throat. It did nothing to stop the slight crack and squeak in his voice as he uttered her name. She couldn't help the slight smirk that coated her lips.

He took another tentative step towards her and carefully took her hands, looking down upon them, gently running his thumbs along the back of them. He looked so nervous, she felt she should break the tension for him in the most Toby way possible, with a sarcastic comment.

She took a small step towards him and raised herself towards his a little ear and whispered "Toby, is this your way of asking me to the prom."

he huffed a laugh and raised his head to meet her eyes. Hoping her own reflected encouragement and care.

he opened his mouth to speak, taking a moment as if to decide what his first utterance should be.

"Happy Quinn, I love you. I have loved you from the moment you stood up for Sly, or maybe it was the first time you told it to me straight, that I was a total ass and for all my intelligence, a complete idiot, or maybe it was that time you stood up for that kid when he was being beat up upon by the bullies... Honestly I don't know when I fell for you, it feels like you have always been there and I have just always loved you and honestly no amount of time spent with you will ever be enough for me."

he held her gaze the entire time.

"Because of you, I am a better man, and I have never been happier. You have taught me so much, that my taste in furnishings are horrendous, that I have no place under the hood of a car and that love is about having faith and being brave."

He broke her gaze letting go of her hands,, as he spoke he reached into his pocket pulling out a small, velvet black box, before slowly bending to his knee and coming to look at her once more. She didn't know if she was still breathing, she felt she might never need air again.

"However the biggest lesson from you has been about patience, "all good things to come to those who wait" and boy did you make me wait."

she heard a few chuckles from behind her. He was grinning and she herself couldn't help but give a small laugh. It was choked. Was she crying? No, but her eyes pricked and her nose was beginning to tingle, she really hoped it didn't begin to run.

"But it was worth it, so worth it and now, if you will have me, in the presence of our friends and family I would like to pledge my devotion to you."

He opened the lid of the box and there nestled in the silk lay the most gorgeous ring, a small diamond set upon a slim hex nut band, he had put so much though into this, he had really gone the extra mile to create something that was so unique and a reflection of his love for her. She ground her teeth trying to keep a handle on the emotions which threatened to over power her. Tears shone in his eyes as he gazed unblinking into her eyes.

"Happy, everything I have, everything I am, everything I ever will be, it is yours. I promise to love,care,encourage and support you in your every endeavor, I promise to stand by you forever, for the rest of my life. Happy, there is nothing I love more about my days than getting to end them next to you."

He gave a soft desperate laugh breaking the tension. He looked back up to her

"Happy, will you marry me, please?"

she held his gaze unblinking, making conscious effort as to control her expression, quietly enjoying the bated breath of everybody in the vicinity as they awaited her response. When she saw the doubt and fear begin to creep into Toby's eyes she decided it was no longer fair. She let her face break into a grin.

"well since you said please"

His eyes lit up, he stood quickly.

"that's a yes!?"

she took a step towards him looping her arms around his waist looking up towards him.

"that's a definite yes"

he grabbed her face pulling her into a searing kiss. A muttering of "thank god" passing Toby's lips as he pulled her impossibly closer. She barely heard the whoops, cheers and clapping from behind her as her blood rushed in her ears.

They broke apart as Toby pulled the ring from the box to place it upon her left hand.

He felt practically faint, she had said yes, he knew she would, well, he had until she had stood like a statue un-moving and unblinking and panic and doubt began to creep inside his head.

She received a quick, tight hug from Paige as she congratulated them, a more loose and awkward but none the less meaningful hug from Walter, a one armed one from Cabe, a bear like one from Sly who looked like he was ready to cry himself,and a warm, lengthy one from her Dad. He whispered how proud he was, how over joyed her mother would have been and how glad he was that she had found Toby.

It had been a rough day but Happy believed that it had just become the most wonderful day of her life.


	8. Chapter 8

Toby was sitting flipping his way through a stack of magazines, lips pursed as he scanned the contents

"How do you feel about the spring? not to cold,not to hot, the flowers will be at their best. Though bug and pollen count will be up."

"Sure."

"Ok then, how about the autumn, risking it not being as warm but it combats the pollen and bug issue. And fall colors are said to be atmospheric and pretty?"

"Great"

"winter?"

"Mhmm."

"How about the bottom of the ocean?"

"Cool."

"Really?, awesome, I've always wanted to have my wedding blessed by the fishes"

"Wait, what?"

"You just agreed to marry me on the bottom of the ocean,what is there now an issue with that?"

She was sheepish

"I'm sorry, I wasn't really listening."

he took his time putting down the magazine, not looking at her.

"Yeah, I gathered that." he tried not to show the hurt and fear that made his heart stutter a bit.

He took her hand softly before looking at her.

"Happy, if you are beginning to have second thoughts or cold feet, if you think this is too quick now its ok, you can tell me"

the thought crushed him but he wasn't going to let her know that.

"No, No! Toby it's not like that, I do want to marry you. I do!"

she moved to straddle him, holding his face between her hands.

"I'll be honest, I am terrified. This planning and arranging it's scary and I don't know what I want, and I don't care so long as I walk away your wife, so if you wanna get married at the bottom of the ocean, I won't exactly be thrilled but...sure!"

she smiled trying to sound supportive, though Toby could see through to the grimace hidden behind it.

He grinned at her, she was trying to lighten the mood and suppressing her fight or flight reaction at the prospect of planning a wedding and he knew that there was a chance that, that might ruin the fun and excitement of getting married for her. So he would make it easy for her.

"Ok sweet pea, how about this. I plan the wedding, I might ask you a few questions every once in a while, but for all intense and purposes, I'll do it all myself...though I might ask Paige for aid. I'm a known screw up."

"Really? You would let me pretty much off the hook"

"Yeah, only thing I need you to do is get yourself a dress. That I want to be my surprise."

The expression of Happy's face changed, she looked away, sat back on Toby's legs and inspected her finger nails.

"That's kind of why I was distracted"

she seemed oddly embarrassed and vulnerable though she had no reason to be, Toby picked up that there was more to this.

"you were looking at wedding dresses?"

she didn't instantly respond but when she eventually did her voice was quieter and a little sad. He wanted her to explain why she was reacting in such a way but didn't want to push her too much in case this was something too painful to express just yet.

"no, I was trying to find someone. I need to find her, she believed that one day I would come across someone who would love me so much as to ask me to marry them and I was so assured in all my experiences that she was wrong. I need to see her, the way we left things..."

Happy shook her head in hope it would stop the prickling of her eyes.

"did you have any luck?"

she shook her head again, he lifted her chin gently to meet his eyes.

"hey,we both know two men who will have no problem finding her. Don't you worry. Ok?"

she gave him a small smile and a sniffle.

"Ok"

She curled up into his chest placing soft kisses up his neck and along his jaw as he rubbed her back, their breathing syncing up and slowing as they fell into a blissful sense of piece.

...

Toby now knew why there were such people as event planners. This was crazy. The phoning around, the appointments, the decisions it had him nearly pulling his hair out and he had become far more reliant on Paige than he had wanted to be. She however loved it.

She had gone with Toby to just about everything and was adamant that what he had planned, Happy was going to love. It was asked of Paige and a childhood friend of Happy, Sophie, to be bridesmaids and Ralph a page boy. He however was to be Toby's clothing concern.

Paige had taken it upon herself to organise dress shopping and had arranged an appointment at a wedding boutique of which had a lot of good reviews apparently. The drive was long, 3 hours all for a dress felt to be ridiculous, however when she saw the excitement in Paige she relented.

...

Happy felt practically nauseous, she was going to be stepping into a wedding dress again, and this time it was going to be for a purpose. It had to be right, she had to be beautiful for Toby,she wanted to dazzle him when he was to turn and see her. She knew what she wanted for sure, but the fear struck her, what if they didn't have a dress similar to what she had put on so long ago. She loved how she had looked in that dress, how it made her feel. She didn't want some new dress she wanted that one, or at least as close as possible to it. and what if the person was horrible or it was awkward as she stood there in her underwear

The woman grinned when they entered and practically bounced towards them, She was not what Happy had been expecting she thought it would be some snooty long legged,stick like blonde in 4 inch pencil like heels. She wasn't, she looked like Sophie's mom, the one who had adopted her when she was 16 and angry at the world, she had tried to take in Happy too but happy was so much more stubborn and flighty than Sophie. Happy fought her every kindness, never letting it soften her, gentle and warm, the one who would sit and braid your hair and paint your toenails and would weather every fight over the terrible boyfriend knowing you deserved better and worth more.

She wore a Long, soft cardigan, a blouse, smart pair of jeans and ankle books. She felt safe with this person, the tightness in Happy's chest began to loosen.

Happy looked at the room, the rows and rows of dresses, she thought the sight might have sent her anxiety skyrocketing, instead she felt butterflies, the good kind and she kind of liked it.

"Hello ladies, would you be my 1pm?"

They all looked to Happy but she was too deep in thought as she took in the space that with a smile resting on her lips Paige took her cue.

"Yes I'm Paige and this is Sophie, we are the bridesmaids and that is Happy, your bride to be"

at the mention of her name Happy span round, she had been caught in her own little world.

"Hello Happy, I'm Claire, It's a pleasure to meet you"

she walked over to Happy and took her hands, looking in her eyes.

"Happy,are you ready to find your dress?"

Happy took a few deep breaths before answering, yet her voice was still small.

"yes"

they had been at it for nearly an hour and a half and yet had gotten nowhere, none of what she had put on felt right, she never did get that same feeling she had when she had put that dress on at 14. she was becoming almost tearful in her frustration, but Claire didn't mind. When she came out in yet another dress the oooh's and aaaaah's had reduced to tight smiles, both Paige and Sophie could see from the moment Happy stepped out it wasn't even close to what she wanted, she liked it. But it wasn't _her_ dress.

A quiet sadness sat in the room.

Claire broke the silence.

"Happy, your not happy. Why?"

"because none of them are right, if they were I would _feel_ it"

"i think, you think, you know what it is you want."

"i do!"

she hadn't meant to say it so quickly or as sharply, but there it was

Claire came round to face her.

"if you think you know, then why didn't you say what it is your looking for honey?"

"because I know what it looks like but I don't know how to describe it, I don't know anything about the shapes or materials. I just know I loved it."

Paige piped up.

"you mean you've already put, _the one_ , on?"

"yeah, when I was 14. I stayed with a couple who had this kind of shop, she put it on me and I felt it, even if I couldn't admit it to myself then. With this whole getting married thing now, I can't stop thinking about it. I know it probably sounds ridiculous."

Claire gave a soft sigh and sat Happy down,

"I see many women come into this shop knowing exactly what it is they want,very few choose to walk out of here with it. You should come with an open mind, but this seems to be more than just about a dress. The chances of finding the dress that made you feel like it was _the one_ at 14 is very slim, honey you are not who and what you were at 14. A wedding dress should be what you need now and reflects who you are now, its about the future, not the past."

Happy knew she was right.

"I know, it was the first time I felt anything close to beautiful. I want Toby to see me look beautiful."

Sophie gave a laugh.

"Dear god Hap, he thinks your the most gorgeous thing to walk the planet. You crawled out from underneath my car covered in grease and like you had wrestled a croc and he couldn't stop looking at you like you were some sort of majestic creature. The guy held a full blown conversation with me about the wedding and didn't so much as glance at me the entire time, for watching you. If I didn't like the guy so much I'd tell you to get a restraining order."

That raised a smile from her. Happy had begun to sniffle a little so Claire had gone to retrieve some tissues when all of a sudden Paige leapt from her chair.

"Shoot! Back in a minute!"

She darted from the store a questioning look from Happy to Sophie to just shrugged and looked as confused as she did.

A few moments later she came darting back into the shop a little breathless and damp carrying a slightly yellowed box.

"Whew! Ok so its starting to rain!"

Claire came back with Happy's tissues and was a little surprised to see Paige suddenly a little damp.

"I cannot believe I forgot about this!"

She approached happy with the box.

"When I said to everyone I was going shopping with you Toby must have told your dad because a couple days ago I got a call from him asking to pick this up and give it too you when the time felt right. Right now your Mom should be here, she should be giving you the help and opinions and stories that a girl deserves to hear as her wedding approaches and that was taken from you. So your dad thought that this might be a way of including her and remembering her for you, and it is to do with as you please, save it for if you have a daughter, cut it up and include it in your dress, or wear it in it's entirety. whatever way, your dad wants you to have it."

She held the box out to Happy and she took it in shaky hands, laying it on her lap and carefully lifting the lid. And there inside lay Grace Quinn's wedding dress.


End file.
